Displaced Parental Efforts
Lynn and James Discuss Another Reason Why Grownups Suck: 8/2/2022
James, you told me a story that really angered me recently, about a little girl whose parents excluded a close family friend of decades from her birthday party. They made heinous and calumnious accusations against the man to cover their jealousy of him, because even though he visits only a few times a year, the child remembers him well. I know a little bit about this girl's history and I know that her parents have failed to protect her from some very painful experiences which were at least partially a consequence of their own actions. For that reason, I believe it was more than jealousy that motivated them to disinvite the man but also the desire to make a show of some muscular parenting, to try to demonstrate that they are able to make difficult decisions to protect the child and make up for their earlier failures as parents. I have seen this many times. This is one of my fears and one reason that I am a "helicopter" parent now. Parents who do too little too late have no credibility with their kids and sometimes resort to extreme measures.